The past few weeks have been anything but uneventful. Just when I feel like maybe there is a calm, something happens that stirs it up again. I do not know why this continues to surprise me, but it does. I wish there was a way I could better prepare myself for your crazy shenanigans, maybe this way I would know better how to react. But you know me, I can sometimes be a little over the top.
You have always been fearless. This at times has made me so proud and other times has scared me. If only you would just think for a minute before you do something or say something (I sound like my mom now!). I try to put it perspective by remembering how I was at your age - stubborn, bullheaded, that I knew pretty much everything there was to know - and hope that this will give me a better understanding of what you might be going through. As your mom I just want you to be safe and I want you to be happy and I want you to never forget how much I love you.
You have a very loving heart and I know how sensitive you can be. I remember our neighbor coming to tell me how you stuck up for her son on the bus - her son is autistic and some of the kids were taking his hat and throwing it around, not giving it back to him. She told me how you grabbed that hat back and gave it to her son, not letting anyone else take it from him again. I see how you are with Natalie, how loving and patient you are with her, how she lights up when she sees you. I know how you are with me, how you try to be respectful and how upset you might get if you think you have said or done something that may have hurt me. You have a compassion for others that has always shown through, a truly loving way about you and this has always been a part of you and I see more and more of it as you have grown older.
So even with the ups and downs we have had over the past few weeks, there is not anything I would change about you. I need to let you make your mistakes and hope that you will learn from them and grow from them. As much as I would love to shield you and be there always to tell you what to do, I know that it is just not possible. I need to learn to step back and hope that I have given you the tools to know what is right.
I love ya Dev, you are my life! There is nothing that I would not do for you (well, I am totally not buying you the new PS4), but I hope you know what I mean. I am here for you whenever you should ever need me no matter how old you are. I love you with all my heart!
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